A pot of cheese and friendship? What really makes us happy

Happiness can be a tricky thing to pursue, no matter how much you want it. For a start, ticking off career goals tends to make less difference than you imagine, because there’s always going to be someone richer and more successful than you are. But don’t despair! We have eight London Business School faculty who are willing to share their expertise and wisdom on the subject. Here’s their advice for how you can be happier right now.

Good enough is good enough

Ben Hardy, Clinical Professor of Organisational Behaviour; Academic Director (EMBA Dubai, EMBA London, MiM and Sloan)

A pot of cheese and friendship; that’s all the philosopher Epicurus thought we needed for happiness. Tastes have moved on a little in the intervening 2300 years, but Epicurus’ principles are still useful. He suggested that we should seek a state of inner tranquillity (ataraxia) through the pursuit of pleasure. But he differentiated between katastematic pleasures, which come from the absence of pain and meeting of basic needs, and kinetic pleasures, which are about satisfying a psychological longing. Kinetic pleasures such as sex, winning or trophies are driven by desires and the idea that having these things will make us feel better. Whole industries are devoted to this. But it doesn’t make us much happier, as any graph of happiness to wealth will tell you. Once we have reached a certain level, happiness doesn’t go up much.

So what does make us happy? Humans are a social species, so relationships – good ones – make us happy. That and some decent food. But don’t worry about whether your friends are important people, and don’t worry about whether your food is Michelin starred. Good enough is good enough. I know people who are so worried about getting the optimal experience (Did we book the best restaurant? Will the hotel meet our specifications?) that they can’t enjoy the experience. It can only fall short of their sky high expectations. They are pursuing kinetic pleasure and would be much happier if they accepted that someone is making them a meal and that they’ll have a bed for the night; it might not be perfect but it’s perfectly fine. And if it’s not then you’ll get a story out of it, which you can tell your friends, and have a different sort of pleasure.

Shift your perspective

Ena Inesi, Professor of Organisational Behaviour; Selin Kesebir, Associate Professor of Organisational Behaviour

Quiet the voice of others in your head. Social comparison theory suggests that individuals naturally evaluate themselves in relation to others, but frequent upward comparisons — measuring yourself against those you perceive as more successful —can undermine your well-being and self-esteem. Nowadays, when we’re exposed to curated and often idealised portrayals of others people’s lives, this tendency is even more pronounced and can distort our idea what is typical or attainable. But this upward comparison is a choice, and you can just as easily choose a different comparison.

On any dimension that matters to us, there will always be others doing better. Instead of focusing on those people and feeling inadequate and miserable, recognise how fortunate you are compared to countless others on that same dimension, whether it’s health, relationships, work, or finances. This isn't deceiving yourself, it's having perspective. The goal isn't to stop striving or settle for less, it's to recognise that upward comparisons breed resentment while broader comparisons foster gratitude. You can see yourself as a victim in an unfair world, or you can appreciate what you have while still pursuing what you want. Both perspectives are available to us at any moment.

Then redirect your focus to the experiences that are meaningful to you personally, activities that bring you satisfaction and a sense of enjoyment or fulfilment. By reducing the weight you’re giving to external comparisons and recognising the biased way in which they are constructed, you can cultivate a more stable and internally grounded sense of wellbeing.

Choose to be grateful

Alex Edmans, Professor of Finance

Organisations are imperfect. Many workplaces struggle with politics, pettiness, jealousy, and envy. Fairness is not always within your control. But what is within your control is your response. As Viktor Frankl wrote: “Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” That mindset shift is powerful. You can choose to live offended or to be grateful.

Much of the reward from meaningful work is intrinsic rather than extrinsic. An unfair organisation can take away extrinsic rewards. It can even snub your contributions internally. But it can never take away your personal pride in the quality of your work and the people that you’ve affected. Gratitude is not naivety. It does not deny injustice. Rather, it anchors your happiness in what you can control: effort, integrity, and impact. And practising gratitude is not only inward-looking. When you actively show appreciation to others, it becomes contagious – helping to create the very culture of recognition that may be missing.

Invest in friendship

Lynda Gratton, Professor of Management Practice in Organisational Behaviour

Make a deliberate investment in your future friendships. If you imagine yourself 10 or 20 years from now, what will matter most? It’s unlikely to be the email you sent, the target you hit, or even the title you held. It will be the people who are still there. Across long lives, friendships are one of the strongest predictors of sustained happiness. And yet they are often the first thing we neglect when work intensifies or life becomes demanding. We assume they will survive on goodwill. They rarely do.

If you want to maximise your happiness, treat friendship as something to be actively built. Reach out to someone you value but haven’t seen. Protect time for conversation that isn’t transactional. Be the person who organises, who remembers, who reconnects. Your future self will not thank you for one more late meeting. They will thank you for the relationships that endured.

Spend your time mindfully

Ioannis Ioannou, Associate Professor of Strategy and Entrepreneurship

Pay attention to whether the way you live actually reflects what matters most to you. We often talk about happiness as if it were something to pursue directly, but more often it is the byproduct of living in a way that feels coherent: spending time with people you care about, doing work you can respect, and not letting status, habit, or other people’s expectations dictate too much of your life.

For many people, the real problem is not the absence of pleasure but the slow build-up of a gap between what they say matters and how they actually spend their days. That gap may seem small at first, but over time it can create a persistent sense of dissatisfaction that achievement or busyness does not resolve. A happier life often requires some deliberate correction: protecting time for relationships, being honest about which ambitions are truly yours, and letting go of definitions of success that no longer fit.

Cultivate contentment

Amy Bradley, Adjunct Associate Professor of Organisational Behaviour

Happiness is often seen as the primary gauge of a good life, yet the pursuit of happiness can paradoxically make us feel worse. As Regrets of the Dying author Bronnie Ware reminds us: “The chase for more, and the need to be recognized through our achievements and belongings, can hinder us from the real things, like time with those we love, time doing things we love ourselves, and balance in our lives.”

Rather than chasing happiness, focus on cultivating contentment. Contentment is defined as a stable sense of completeness, when we’re operating in alignment with our core values. Core values are an inner compass that guides us even after we achieve our goals. Living in accordance with our core values can help to foster a sense of coherence and purpose, shifting our attention from what is lacking to what is sufficient. Reframe happiness from a constant positive state to be achieved to a broader sense of peace and adequacy even in times of difficulty.

Do something each day that you love

Dan Cable, Professor of Organisational Behaviour

Make sure you invest a little time each day on an activity you care about. Maybe it’s something you were already doing as a child, that you still like to do now. Or maybe it’s some activity that you “want to get right” because you care enough about it, no matter how much time and practice it takes.

Ask yourself: “Is there something I want to do that gets me up a little early, or keeps me working late, after others have gone to sleep? Not because the project is due the next day, but because it’s important to me to make a little more progress?” That’s a thing worth blocking out time for.