How to work with anyone (even difficult people)

A 2022 survey of over 1,000 Americans by Resumelab found that 80% of people have at least one “terrible” co-worker and 83% feel their co-worker’s behaviour negatively affected their work. These startling statistics were part of the backdrop to a fireside chat in March 2023 between Aneeta Rattan, Associate Professor of Organisational Behaviour at London Business School and Women in Work podcast co-host and author Amy Gallo about her latest work ‘How to work with anyone (even difficult people)’.

LBS’ Leadership Institute hosted the event at which Aneeta and Amy discussed Amy’s reasons for writing the book, how eight distinct archetypes can be found in almost every workplace and how the impact of their behaviour can negatively affect their co-workers.

The eight distinct archetypes identified in Amy’s book are as follows:

• The Insecure Boss
• The Pessimist
• The Victim
• The Passive-Aggressive Peer
• The Know-It-All
• The Tormentor
• The Biased Co-worker
• The Political Operator.

In writing this book, Amy sought to give more evidence-based, specific advice for the patterns of behaviour seen in the eight archetypes; to understand the role that bias plays in the way we interpret difficult behaviour, essentially debunking the idea of difficult people; and to pay more attention to tactics as she believes that there is a narrow range of acceptable behaviour which differs depending on your identity.

Given that incivility at work hinders performance, stifles creativity and innovation, and decreases effort and commitment, Amy has put together nine principles which she believes can help people to get along with anyone. For each archetype, she suggests asking ‘What is the behaviour? What might explain it? What questions should I ask myself? What tactics can I try?’ as reflection about our own involvement with problematic behaviour can help interpersonal resilience to be built. Resilience is key because we will experience negative interactions and need to be able to bounce back from experiencing them and causing them.

Topics addressed by Amy and Aneeta during a Q&A with the audience included the notion of servant leadership as a motivator, and the role of mental health and the vulnerability/resilience associated with this in terms of being able deal with the different archetypal behaviours. Amy also shared her thoughts on why there is value in societies having conversations with young people and adults about how to deal with different people as children are not taught about different behavioural types at school. According to Amy, organisations can also help people to build resilience by normalising that people exhibit these patterns of behaviour and giving them the help needed to address these behaviours. After all, as Vivek Murthy writes in ‘Togetherness’ – as quoted by Amy during her chat with Aneeta – “It’s in our relationships that we find the emotional sustenance and power we need to thrive.”