MBA candidate opens up about mental health

Being overly critical of the person in the mirror is a horrible habit. One might assume that those admitted to study an MBA at London Business School would have put negativity behind them.

The reality is a lot of able and outwardly happy people can carry the burden of mental illness. Matty Dixon (MBA 2019) hid his depression while working as a chartered engineer in oil and gas and as a semi-professional rugby player. He would cry driving to work and driving to rugby training afterwards, without knowing why.

His depression has turned the occasional bout of self-doubt into a level of self-loathing that few experience. And even though he is still in the midst of his battle with the condition, he is determined to share his experiences and remove the stigma he still feels. As a result of wanting to share his struggle, he gave a frank and fearless talk at this year’s TEDxLondonBusinessSchool.

“Where I believe society primarily misunderstands is that it believes having a mental health problem makes you weak or incapable. I think this is especially true in business and the MBA environment,” he says.

“I grew up pretty happy. Depression started to impact me when I hit 17. I have no trigger which I can identify, I just started to slide from being a mentally healthy person to not.

“I can wake up feeling good… then inevitably, I will do something to create hate within myself. It might be how I speak to someone who doesn’t deserve it. It could be hurting someone’s feelings.”

He admits to feelings of hopelessness, self-harm and thoughts of death.